Life is unpredictable. In a matter of second, life can be gone. And sometime..it can take more than seconds..
I have lost a friend. A good friend indeed. She was 13 when she last breathe in this world. I only knew her for 4 years. She was diagnosed with leukemia when she was just 10. I still remember that day. The day when her father whom is my father's friend told us that she was bleeding badly from her mouth. It was a Thursday night. She skipped school on Friday because she was admitted at the hospital. Weeks after that, doctors affirmed that she has leukemia. It was a shocking news to me. I never knew what was that and as i asked around..i got to know that it was a disease with no cure. Weeks passed turned to months and years. I heard that if we transfer something from your bone and if it's a match then it can be ok. I told my parents why not try mine? But i was too young. Even her sister's blood cannot be donated because it's not a match. My mom wanted to donate but something regarding the procedures made my mom unable to do so. I do not know what was it.
As years passed, she stopped schooling. Year 6, UPSR. She went to school once a while. It was nice to have her around again. I went to her house almost every evening. Teach her how to do math and helped her here and there in other subjects whichever i can. And she sat the exam. She managed to passed the exam. Even though she did not passed with flying colours, but yeah! she did it. I really admire her ability to stay strong.
We were separated when we were in high school. She went to school for few months early that year, before she became weak again. It was sad to see her in the hospital. Lying helplessly. I wanted to talk to her, but i was afraid. I was afraid that i might hurt her. I don't remember our conversation. But i do remember..in my heart..i told her that she's going to be ok and we would study together again. She woke up one day and she was home. I went to met her, she asked me bout study. I don't remember when was it, but i do remember i taught her algebra maths and english in the evening after school. I remember we went to a hot spring place with her family. and i remember that it was the last time i saw her smile.
Time flies so fast, there were times when i went to see her, she was so skinny and i can even see her bones. There was once, the doctor prescribed the wrong medicine till her skin was burnt. she turned into black. the whole body was black. I was so surprised to see her that way. I almost cried. But, i still smile in front of her. I don't want her to see me sad. It would make her sad and burst into tears too. I don't want that.
Last i saw my little friend..it was some time around october. I regret somehow i did not went to visit her often. Anyhow, i got the news on December which i cannot recall the exact date. She was gone. It was about 10pm. I was watching the show on TV with my mom and dad when suddenly someone came and informed us. I went to my room and burst out in tears. I felt horrible that i did not meet her and did not tell her what i always wanted to tell her. No matter how i wish to turn back time, it can never happen. She is no longer breathing. I did not attend the funeral, i do not remember why.
Today, if she is still around. I wonder how things could be. I wonder, would we be friends like we used to. or would we be apart living our own world. I am sorry for not being there dear friend.
I am called to write this as one of Ae's friend just passed away. His other friend was having hard time to accept the death of her friend. Life have to move on.
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